well - i am sitting here watching my students take my final exam. it is an exciting feeling knowing that this year is almost over. i can taste it. and then, when i look back to the shaky beginnings, it makes me realize how much i have learned. a friend told me just yesterday that we should always try things that make us uncomfortable every once in a while. at first i cringed when she said that, thinking about all the fitful nights of sleep, the horrible rides home, the voices of whiny students, crazy parents, etc...and then i thought about how i have become a lot more creative at "going with the flow". engineers do not do this. period. and about how i have learned to laugh when i say the wrong things in class, and have realized how impacting my words may be - even when i thought them somewhat meaningless at the time. and patience. i pray for patience. i can see how my "inner peace" affects those around me in a greater way than ever before. i have learned that i cannot be everything to everyone. i am loosening up when it comes to life in general. it will be ok if my pants aren't always ironed or my hair fixed or my bathrooms clean. and i am tightening up when it comes to spiritual discipline. or at least i am praying for more discipline and i see the need for it more clearly. my point is, when life puts the squeeze on you, you realize what is important. and that has been very strengthening and liberating for me, and i am still learning.
so - in the midst of paper airplanes, ipods, gossip, fights, drama, and other such life-sucking activities, i have been learning how to dwell in chaos, to remain calm and patient when all i hear is complaints, and to remember that i am to be a rock in this ocean of high school life. and that means getting tough - no means no. my rules are not merely talking points for a discussion. i try to float above and not be sucked into the undertow of it all. and if nothing seems to go right, there is always tomorrow.
so - i am expecting a stronger, more confident teacher to show up in August. for now, i think i am very ready to toss aside the lesson plans and textbooks for a couple months. rest, rejuvenation, and reflection are what i am looking forward to. With that, i bid the 2005/06 school year a hearty "adieu", and for the students i will use the words of my mother, "y'all skedaddle so i can get somethin' done, you hear?" :)
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3 comments:
Congrats to you both for completing a very hard year. You are both stronger and wiser because of it!!! Now enjoy the summer! Love you, Auntie Sara
Oh how wonderful you must feel! Congratulations on making it through the first year, assuming there will be more to follow. Your endurance, though it may not have felt like endurance, has been so encouraging. I love that you are learning to go with the flow and float above the chaos all at once. I wish I could be there to toast with you and rejoice, but we can always make up for that in August :-)
So beautifully said, Christine. Happy to hear that it's over. When I have kids, I want both Adam and you to teach them! Happy Summer!
Love ya,
Jules
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