slip 'n slide

this is christine. most likely a distant remembrance of postings past will be recalled at my name...i haven't written much.

i have been trudging through this school year, feeling much like a failure and very much broken and bruised from all my attempts at relinquishing comfort during a time filled with nothing of the like. and from having to fight lies in my head over and over again. and from learning (over and over and over...) the disciplines i need in order to survive down here. i am very aware of the fact that Satan is confident in all he has accomplished down here, and we are in a foreign territory that requires all the armor we have, every day.

so i come to this post today weary, tired, longing for a time of peace and comfort, rest and ease. and i also hate the fact that comfort is what i long for. not to bring Christ to all these people, not to be a great teacher, not to love, give, and share...i long for rest. i want familiarity. i want to let my guard down for just a few days without being almost swallowed whole with lies and deception.

so - at the moment, my life is like a slip 'n slide...i am always falling, slipping, and banging myself up...my journey not as firm as i would like it. i have seen my weakness and selfishness so often and in such ugly measures that i can just about lose it if i were to dwell on it. (and now i will actually have written proof of a bit of it)

so - no positive post today. just a few rantings of someone walking a lonely and hard road, knowing -yet at times forgetting -just how absolutely worth it this road will be, and how much deeper I will know my wonderful Father because of it.

i think when i get to heaven i will roll around in the lush grass and belt out "at last" by etta james at the top of my lungs...i am sure i will not be alone on that one :)